I'm nervous. Tomorrow I leave the comfort of my aunt's house to travel to St. Louis, MO. This is really where the adventure gets real because I don't have a definite plan. I don't know where I'm going, what I'm doing, or how I'm supposed to do it. The anxiety is heavy. As the magnet on the fridge reminded me right before I came to type this post, I know I need to 'trust in the Lord'. I'm trying. There is still a sense of fear because the next part is so unknown.
Let's talk about what I do know. I know I am supposed to be out here serving the Lord. I know He can be trusted and already knows exactly what each day will bring. I know that Jesus is always with me and I will never go through one second on this adventure alone. I know God is faithful and His unfailing love lasts forever. I know His plan for me is greater and more fulfilling than anything my wildest imagination can produce. I know that it will be challenging, that this adventure will be a time to grow in my relationship with Christ. I know my God is bigger than any trouble I may face or struggle I may go through. I know there is someone out there that I am supposed to meet and share God's great love with. I know that He has blessed me with a gift of photography that He wants to share with the world. I know that I can trust Him and that is why this adventure must continue.
No matter the fear, anxiety, or nerves, this adventure will continue. It's not about me. God called me out here to reach people for Him. To bring them to a relationship with Him that he so deeply desires. Reminding people who feel alone, ignored, lost, and broken that they matter, they exist, and that they are loved.
I foresee a lot of sleepless nights laying on the hard ground in my tent somewhere or in the front seat of my car parked in a parking lot. This is all extra time to spend with God in prayer and in His word. It won't be easy but I will do it because I have been called. Without a doubt I have been called by God to leave all I know, all my comforts, all my possessions behind to put other's needs first. Even though I don't know exactly what that looks like at this point, I believe, through the great gift of faith, that it will be revealed as long as I stay obedient to His calling.
Please pray for me. For strength, safety, wisdom, clarity, provision, and protection. Most of all, that I will follow His leading with immediate obedience. The words "thank you" do not even begin to express how humbled I am at your continued support of me and this adventure. Since that is really the only phrase the English language has given me, it is what I will use, but know it is only a partial expression of my true level of emotion. Thank you! May God bless you beyond measure!
The Lord replied, "Don't say, 'I'm too young,' for you must go wherever I send you and say whatever I tell you. And don't be afraid of the people, for I will be with you and will protect you. I, the Lord, have spoken!"
Jeremiah 1:7-8
For we speak as messengers approved by God to be entrusted with the Good News. Our purpose is to please God, not people. He alone examines the motives of our hearts.
1 Thessalonians 2:4
Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.
James 1:2-3